Hectic

Yesterday was Mom's second day at the Renaissance. She seems a bit less scared, but is still very clingy. We met the 'Welcome Wagon' lady. Bernie lives on the sixth floor; she and her committee take the newbies under their wing for the first while, and apparently accompany them at mealtimes. (I am not sure I believe this, though, as I have had to ask -- twice -- to have the Welcome committee look out for Mom.) The designate for Mom's floor, 'Bridget', is away, and so Bernie has taken over for her. I sat with the two of them as they had their supper; I had had a late lunch, and so I did not eat.
Mom seems to be enjoying the 'mealtime' thing: she even asked for another helping of dessert!

The cost of parking at the Renaissance is killing me! Their brochure says there is "covered resident and visitor parking", but one of the front desk folks told me that that is inaccurate; visitors have to park on the street and feed the meter.
Fortunately, parking on Sunday is free. It is free on Saturdays, as long as the vehicle is moved every two hours.

Unfortunately, we did not take in Chad's housewarming party last night. I could not even remind Mom of it, as she was so overwhelmed by all that is happening in her life right now; going out to a party might cause a setback. (Mom was not herself for days after Kimmy's housewarming party!) Also, I was not feeling well.

When I called Mom this morning, she said that she could not find her clothes. It turns out that she had closed the closet door and could no longer see her clothes. I suggested that maybe she could go down to lunch by herself today. I gave her these directions:

• Open apartment door.
  
• Look to the right; walker is parked there. Push walker to elevator.
• Press the 'down' button. Enter elevator and press 'M' for Main.
  
• When elevator opens, enter common area and find a chair. Someone will eventually ask to sit with you. At lunch time, enter dining room and have lunch.

Mom did not think she could remember all that, so she wrote it down and then read it all back to me.

Convinced that Mom would not be able to manage lunchtime on her own today, I called Uncle Emile, who agreed to take Mom to church and out to brunch.

I am not entirely convinced that Mom will be able to manage in this new place; I think that a nursing home might be just around the corner. Sadly, a nursing home is not an option now. I've been told that Mom could get into a nursing home only after being hospitalized or suffering a fall.

I have a fever again today; my face is bright red.

Mom's progress -- next chapter

Well, my idea that Mom could continue on at Embury Hts -- with added support -- is just not going to work. Meals on Wheels now arrive each day, but Mom does not quite know what to do with them. If I am there, I can convince her to sit down and eat the whole meal. If I am not there, Mom has the soup, and then puts the rest in the fridge 'for later'. Then she forgets about it completely and the whole vicious circle of not eating begins again. In addition to forgetting, there is another reason Mom won't eat: she no longer has a sense of smell. When we went for a walk the other day, Mom could not smell the fragrant flowers. Who'd want to eat if the food had no smell (and thus no taste, I suspect)?

Mom does eat well in a social environment, however. Consequently, we have gone out to eat many times since I arrived in Regina. This is quite time-consuming, but Mom is gaining weight as a result. At the doctor's office the other day, her weight was 123 lbs. If I were around here longer, I would work at helping Mom build up her strength -- maybe by getting her to walk more. We took in one exercise class at the Seniors' Centre, but did not continue, as Mom didn't like it. The next day, she "hurt all over."

I have been checking out Regina's retirement communities and found many to have an unfriendly aura about them. In two of them (high-priced places!), the administration offices shut out the seniors by closing their doors or by pulling the drapes tight across the window areas. I witnessed these actions while I was there!


Then, on the recommendation of two people, I checked out the Renaissance, where there is a 'front desk' that is attended 24 hours a day and seniors chatting up the attendant all day long! After everyone agreed (the boys and Shelley), I arranged for a tour for Mom. Uncle Emile joined us there for lunch, and Cheryl joined in for the tour. Poor Mom was like a deer in the headlights at first; she was really scared! But the more she saw of the place, the more she liked it! She thought that #319 -- a little studio suite of 324 sq ft -- looked 'spacious' (that's because it was empty!) and that really appealed to her. Mom and I went for coffee afterwards, to 'consider' the whole idea, and Mom was soon saying (without any prompting!): "If I give them a deposit, that little suite could be mine, right?" That was the turning point!

In the evening, we went back to the Renaissance for 'Movie Night'. We watched an episode of the Ed Sullivan show from the 50s.

Afterwards, we chatted with Irene and George Laird, whom I'd met on a previous visit; they are new to the Renaissance community. Before leaving, I introduced Mom to Elaine Pettigrew; I knew her in Estevan in the 80s. Elaine is a wonderful lady, who is now 86. She sure has aged gracefully! The interaction with potential new friends made Mom happy. At the end of the day, she was exhausted, but receptive to the idea of moving.

Mom's progress

Yesterday was exhausting, but great! In the afternoon, I took Mom to a doctor at the Regina Rehab Clinic. The clinic is a calm place, with light jazz playing in the background.

The doctor is in his late 30s (?) and has a very diverse background which includes psychiatry and family practice, including an interest in ADD -- all combined with a holistic healing approach. The one thing that was amazing is that this doctor spent two hours with Mom, and did not treat her like one whose concerns should not be heard -- which often happens to seniors rushed through busy clinics. He conducted many tests, input lots of data into his computer, and asked for a copy of the files from Mom's family doctor, and suggested that Mom have an MRI. As well, he seemed pleased that Mom was taking Boost twice a day as a nutritional supplement, along with flaxseed on her cereal at breakfast.

This morning, the psychiatrist -- Mom saw him in Feb 2007, further to her Dec 2006 fall -- faxed the CTscan to the doctor we saw yesterday. This will help him decide whether the MRI is needed.

When the appt finished at 5:15 pm yesterday, we called on Lil Mack to see if she wanted to join us at Arby's for supper. Mom again did not feel hungry, but again ate heartily! ;-) Mom definitely sees mealtime as a social event, rather than something to be done alone.

On the road to wellness

Today is Sunday; I have now been in Regina for four days. Since arriving, I have been running errands for Mom and working on my plan to have her gain some strength. Mom is very weak from weeks (months?) of not eating enough. She weighs just a bit over 100 lbs. Mom has simply been forgetting to eat. It has taken her a while to believe it, but Mom finally realizes that her memory is failing her. It is a Catch-22 situation: starving one's body of nutrients also starves the mind and dulls the memory. So far, we have added:

1) Boost (with added calories) twice a day (Strawberry or vanilla)
2) A breakfast that includes protein. Mom likes cereal and a banana for breakfast, so I am hoping to convince her to perk it up by adding an egg, a sardine or something similar.
3) Flaxseed (2 tbsp) on the morning cereal (rich in Omega 3)

What is good is that Mom is receptive to my help. I hope this new eating regime does help! I am also going to look into having Meals on Wheels deliver one meal a day and eventually increase the deliveries to daily.

Mom is buying Chad a blender. We got a nice small sturdy one at Superstore. It is for his housewarming present.

. . . more education!

All day today, I was on a course (downtown on Cooper St.), entitled 'Work/Life Balance'. I took the course because I know I tend to spend too much time working. The timing of this course was a bit strange, as I have not been at work since mid-May. I did realize, however, that being a student also presents its own 'balance' challenges. It turned out to be a wonderful day, where I learned lots of great strategies. And, surprisingly, very few of the participants were really super-stressed. One person commented on that, and another suggested that those who are really stressed would not take time for a course like this!

Julie is coming on Saturday and we are going to have a marathon girls' weekend. It actually will not be the whole weekend, as Julie has comittments at home in Montreal on Sunday. Our plan is to see the Sex and the City movie, and then dissect it over Cosmopolitans. For those unfamiliar with it, SATC was a long-running television series about four friends in New York City. Sex and the City is the name of the lead character's newspaper column.

U of Calgary course

I am currently taking my first University of Calgary course. The entire program is a Masters in Educational Technology. I am starting small -- pursuing the Ed Tech certificate, which consists of four courses.

It feels great to be in the world of academia again, and particularly to be taking more Masters level courses. My 14 virtual classmates (it's Distance Learning) are located in different parts of Canada, and in Kuwait and China. The course is co-constructivist, and so we learn a lot from each other.

First post

Thanks to Ivan, I have discovered Google's blog place. I was on another blog site, but am switching!