Hectic

Yesterday was Mom's second day at the Renaissance. She seems a bit less scared, but is still very clingy. We met the 'Welcome Wagon' lady. Bernie lives on the sixth floor; she and her committee take the newbies under their wing for the first while, and apparently accompany them at mealtimes. (I am not sure I believe this, though, as I have had to ask -- twice -- to have the Welcome committee look out for Mom.) The designate for Mom's floor, 'Bridget', is away, and so Bernie has taken over for her. I sat with the two of them as they had their supper; I had had a late lunch, and so I did not eat.
Mom seems to be enjoying the 'mealtime' thing: she even asked for another helping of dessert!

The cost of parking at the Renaissance is killing me! Their brochure says there is "covered resident and visitor parking", but one of the front desk folks told me that that is inaccurate; visitors have to park on the street and feed the meter.
Fortunately, parking on Sunday is free. It is free on Saturdays, as long as the vehicle is moved every two hours.

Unfortunately, we did not take in Chad's housewarming party last night. I could not even remind Mom of it, as she was so overwhelmed by all that is happening in her life right now; going out to a party might cause a setback. (Mom was not herself for days after Kimmy's housewarming party!) Also, I was not feeling well.

When I called Mom this morning, she said that she could not find her clothes. It turns out that she had closed the closet door and could no longer see her clothes. I suggested that maybe she could go down to lunch by herself today. I gave her these directions:

• Open apartment door.
  
• Look to the right; walker is parked there. Push walker to elevator.
• Press the 'down' button. Enter elevator and press 'M' for Main.
  
• When elevator opens, enter common area and find a chair. Someone will eventually ask to sit with you. At lunch time, enter dining room and have lunch.

Mom did not think she could remember all that, so she wrote it down and then read it all back to me.

Convinced that Mom would not be able to manage lunchtime on her own today, I called Uncle Emile, who agreed to take Mom to church and out to brunch.

I am not entirely convinced that Mom will be able to manage in this new place; I think that a nursing home might be just around the corner. Sadly, a nursing home is not an option now. I've been told that Mom could get into a nursing home only after being hospitalized or suffering a fall.

I have a fever again today; my face is bright red.

Mom's progress -- next chapter

Well, my idea that Mom could continue on at Embury Hts -- with added support -- is just not going to work. Meals on Wheels now arrive each day, but Mom does not quite know what to do with them. If I am there, I can convince her to sit down and eat the whole meal. If I am not there, Mom has the soup, and then puts the rest in the fridge 'for later'. Then she forgets about it completely and the whole vicious circle of not eating begins again. In addition to forgetting, there is another reason Mom won't eat: she no longer has a sense of smell. When we went for a walk the other day, Mom could not smell the fragrant flowers. Who'd want to eat if the food had no smell (and thus no taste, I suspect)?

Mom does eat well in a social environment, however. Consequently, we have gone out to eat many times since I arrived in Regina. This is quite time-consuming, but Mom is gaining weight as a result. At the doctor's office the other day, her weight was 123 lbs. If I were around here longer, I would work at helping Mom build up her strength -- maybe by getting her to walk more. We took in one exercise class at the Seniors' Centre, but did not continue, as Mom didn't like it. The next day, she "hurt all over."

I have been checking out Regina's retirement communities and found many to have an unfriendly aura about them. In two of them (high-priced places!), the administration offices shut out the seniors by closing their doors or by pulling the drapes tight across the window areas. I witnessed these actions while I was there!


Then, on the recommendation of two people, I checked out the Renaissance, where there is a 'front desk' that is attended 24 hours a day and seniors chatting up the attendant all day long! After everyone agreed (the boys and Shelley), I arranged for a tour for Mom. Uncle Emile joined us there for lunch, and Cheryl joined in for the tour. Poor Mom was like a deer in the headlights at first; she was really scared! But the more she saw of the place, the more she liked it! She thought that #319 -- a little studio suite of 324 sq ft -- looked 'spacious' (that's because it was empty!) and that really appealed to her. Mom and I went for coffee afterwards, to 'consider' the whole idea, and Mom was soon saying (without any prompting!): "If I give them a deposit, that little suite could be mine, right?" That was the turning point!

In the evening, we went back to the Renaissance for 'Movie Night'. We watched an episode of the Ed Sullivan show from the 50s.

Afterwards, we chatted with Irene and George Laird, whom I'd met on a previous visit; they are new to the Renaissance community. Before leaving, I introduced Mom to Elaine Pettigrew; I knew her in Estevan in the 80s. Elaine is a wonderful lady, who is now 86. She sure has aged gracefully! The interaction with potential new friends made Mom happy. At the end of the day, she was exhausted, but receptive to the idea of moving.